The Sober Inspiration Series is a sequence of interviews with regular women, just like you and me, who have overcome alcohol dependence, abuse, and addiction. We feature women from all backgrounds and walks of life and praise all methods of recovery from addiction, whether support groups, higher power, rehab, counseling, DIY or a combination of all the above. Please join us in celebrating these strong, successful women. If you’d like to share your story, check out the interview instructions, and let us know.
Meet The Anonymous Mommy
Can you share a little about yourself?
I’m the Anonymous Mommy. I’m a sober mom in my late 30s living in Brooklyn with my husband, toddler, and dog. I have a day job in finance but my passions are writing, psychology, and helping others.
Can you share your experience with alcohol?
I didn’t start drinking until I was 22. But I made up for lost time. I’ve been sober since March 18, 2014. No one ever called me out on having a problem. No one knew how much I drank because I did most of it alone or with those who drank even more than I did. I was good at my job and my friendships… and I was so depressed. It had just taken over my life. I thought about it all the time and was really stressed if I didn’t know where, when and how I could get my drinking in.
How did you know it was finally time to stop drinking?
I knew I needed to for years. What actually got me to stop was that my husband (then boyfriend) got into some trouble and faced the fact that he was an alcoholic and had to quit. I was (and am) very much in love with him, and knew that there was no way this could work out if I continued to drink. I like to say “I took two days to drink about it”, but then it just hit me. This was a chance for me. I didn’t have to do it alone. I could try.
What was your biggest challenge with getting sober, and how did you overcome it?
Two things, really. Initially, whack-a-mole. I was looking for any way I could find not to feel. I initially fell back into an eating disorder but managed to claw my way out of that after about six months in sobriety when I got pregnant.
Motherhood kind of kicked my ass initially. I had built up a good program but it was completely unsustainable once this tiny human came along. Physically and emotionally it was more than I was prepared for. I didn’t relapse, but I did have to develop my own sort of program that fits with my new life. I couldn’t go to meetings whenever I wanted. I couldn’t hang out with most of my sober friends, who were still single and used to leaving the house. I didn’t have sober mom friends and mommy-wine culture is rampant. It was all I could do to go to work and take care of my child.
It’s easier now that my son is older, but I had to find new ways to get support. Podcasts like The Bubble Hour and Home, as well as Facebook groups for sober moms, and oddly enough, Instagram, all have great support. While I still feel better when I have gotten myself to a meeting, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I go 1-2 times a month now and supplement with podcasts, blogs, and other online tools.
That is really what inspired me to start my blog. I didn’t see a whole lot out there for sober moms, so I decided to create what I would have wanted when I felt alone.
What are the top benefits you’ve experienced since quitting?
There have been so many! I actually wrote a post about 10 surprise benefits of getting sober. I can honestly say I am 1000% happier than I was when I was drinking. As someone who gets depressed, pouring a depressant into my body every day was probably not the best idea. I love that I have the energy and desire to go out and DO things now, rather than just sit somewhere drinking.
What is the best advice you can give to someone who is struggling with alcohol abuse?
[bctt tweet=”There is an absolutely amazing life waiting for you. You can conquer this even if it doesn’t feel like it. There have been far more hopeless cases than you. You aren’t giving up anything. You will have more fun, more happiness, more laughter. ” username=”theanonymommy”] You will relax, and sleep more fully and love more deeply. It’s all right there waiting. Just don’t do it alone. You don’t have to.
Share with us three people in the sobriety or personal development space you recommend checking out?
Holly Whitaker of Hip Sobriety is a huge source of inspiration for me. She is whip-smart and has a modern, positive view of sobriety that has shaped how I view my own.
This isn’t one person, but I highly recommend The Bubble Hour podcast. It interviews TONS of amazing women in sobriety and I have discovered people like Lotta Dann of Mrs. D is Going Without and The Sober Hipster. It’s a great substitute for when I can’t get to a meeting (which is most of the time.)
In terms of personal development (though she’s also sober, too) Glennon Doyle is my absolute favorite. She is incredibly relatable. I eye-rolled HARD when I first heard of her and the title of her book, Love Warrior, and I am absolutely eating my words now. I listened to the audiobook and am an unabashed fangirl.
Do you celebrate your sober anniversary in any special way?
My husband and I have our sober anniversaries a couple days apart so we always get a special little dessert to celebrate, like cupcakes or cannolis or something.
Where can we find you on the internet?
You can find me over at http://theanonymousmommy.com to find advice on sobriety, motherhood, and happiness. I have posts for everyone from the sober curious to those in long-term sobriety, as well as info on how to deal with some issues that tend to affect women in sobriety like boundaries, and perfectionism.
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